stuck in her daydream

First set in 5 months, wohooo! :)

It's me. Moi. Back. After 4 months of studying, hearbreaks, goodbyes, visa applications, I'm back.
It's been a long journey and I missed polyvore.
Most of all, I missed the creativity this site brings to me.
Hm.. this is an old draft, from january or something. I thought it was worth finishing.
So yeah, I missed you guys but I'm back.
xxx
S

I'm on a break, if you haven't noticed. My life is so hectic, I sleep for about 3 hours, and let's just say, while everything is amazing, I need longer days to do everything I want to do. Like 30 hours. Currently, I'm on a study break. Studying biology. I'll be back soon, hopefully. Please, do include Maria in your stories and I'll do some mayor catching up sometime soon.
Love always, Sara

/ gossip girl quote /
 
sunday, january 22nd, 2012-it's girl's night out! Head over to a rented out a top of the line suite at the New York Palace. it's just the girls, so bring your pajama's and the cattyness, because it's bound to be a drama filled night, especially with some of the boys crashing.
 

"Why exactly are we doing this?" I ask Mari.
"Because it's fun." Mari responds.
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Don't be so sad, Alexi can live without you one night a year." Mari winks.
Ania starts laughing and I smile.
If only they knew... I think Ania knows. But I haven't told her. Maybe she thinks we made up back in Moscow. I don't know really. It's better this way.
"Where is your handsome boyfriend also known as my brother, anyway?"
"I don't know... doing business, I guess."
"Let's not talk business", Mari decides.
"Let's do something fun then", I say.
"Um... let's see, let's play truth or dare?" Ania says.
"Sure, sounds like a fun idea." I say.
"Okay, Maria, you go first", Mari says.
"Truth or Dare, Maria", she continues.
"Um... truth."
"Did you lose your virginity to Alexi?"
Ania looks at me like I'm going to say something really weird. Yeah, I was 23... but I knew he was the one. I waited for the one.
"Yes."
The girls turn to me like I'm an alien.
"You must really love him, don't you?",Mari asks.
"Yes, I really love him."
 
After a lot of stupid asks and tasks, we open a bottle of champagne. We drink and dance and scream out loud.
I start jumping on one of the beds. "I've got the mooooveeees like Jagger."
"The girl sure knows how to have fun", Mari proclaims and joins me.
 
Around 3 am, we decide to sober up. And suddenly I have this urge to s

/gossip girl - 4x02/
 
Friday, January 20th, 2012-The Antonov's have graciously offered to host a ball at their manor. It's black tie, and black tie only. It's time to look sharp and impress.
 
"Are you still recovering?" I hear Alexi's amused voice over the phone.
"Oh my God. No, I'm fine, it's been two days."
"Well, you actually don't sound fine."
"Alexi, it's 6 am and you woke me up, you idiot!"
"Calm down, I haven't even slept..."
"Do I want to hear the story?"
"No, you don't."
"Okay, please don't tell me. Are you fine?"
"Yes I am."
"Huh."
"What a fine sound."
"Nothing can stop you, right?"
"Oh Maria, you know me so well..."
"Why are you calling, again?"
"You have to do something for me."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. You owe me."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, I saved you from that crazy man in Moscow and also helped you two nights ago... remember?"
"Oh, yeah, that... um, what do you want?"
I love joking around like this with Alexi. Maybe he doesn't remember what I said and I'm also trying to forget it.
"So, I need you to come to a ball."
"Wow, a ball."
"Stop being so sarcastic. I'm also doing it for you."
"For me? Why?"
"Because they think you are my girlfriend, and believe it or not, you'll be more protected that way."
"Great. Really great."
"Oh, and it's a black tie event."
"Alexi, I swear, if somebody doesn't shoot you, I will..."
"Grrr..."
"I don't know what to wear. I don't have anything appropriate for a ball."
"Come over at my place and bring some gold heels and a clutch."
"What?" He hangs up. Oh, I hate him.
 
Suddenly, I find myself in Alexi's apartment. I'm trying on a dress he wanted me to try.
"Do you need help with the zipper?" He's all smiley but I can see very clearly that he's tired and he also looks a bit... worried?
"Yes, please." He zips the gorgeous red dress up.
"Alexi, I love it, I love every single detail. I think this might be the most gorgeous dress I have ever tried on."
"Ania bought it. It's quite expensive. It's Haute Couture. But she has never worn it, it's not her style, apparently."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, and you should keep it. I was right. It looks perfect with gold accessories. I will go get dressed and we can go."
"Sure."
 
I look at my reflection in the mirror. This dress is perfect. I turn around. I twist, I twirl... I feel like a little girl playing dress up. Isn't every girl's dream wearing a Haute Couture dress?
"Oh, I see you are really excited." Alexi says, as he comes into the room.
"You look great in that tux."
"Thank you. The car is in front of the building, let's go."
 
We finally arrive at the Antonov manor. This is such a beautiful place, filled with beautiful but dangerous people. I see a lot of beautiful gowns, but I feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the room. It might have something to do with the fact Alexi is with me, just saying.
 
"Oh Alexi, why are you always late, pal?"
A man I have never met comes to us.
"I see. You had some fun with your girl, haven't you?"
Alexi fakes a stupid smile.
"I forgive you then. The girl is in fact beautiful."
I hate how he acts like I'm an object that has no hearing. Seriously?
He puts his hand on my waist and whispers in my ear: "It's such a refreshment to see a young lady in a red dress. It was getting quite dark in here."
I turn around. He was right, in fact. All of the other girls and women are wearing either black, grey, dark blue or purple. No bright colors.
"I haven't introduced myself. I'm the host, Alexander Antonov."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Maria."
"Just Maria, you don't have a last name?"
Alexi stops smiling, pulls me closer and kisses me.
"She will soon have my last name."
I know this is an act, but a part of me, a part I thought had died, was screaming. Screaming and wanting a life with Alexi, wanting to kiss Alexi, but for real, wanting to run away with Alexi... but I can't.
"So, you two are serious then?"
"Good for you."
 
As he leaves, Alexi apologizes for the kiss. Honestly, I didn't mind.
"I'm sorry about the marriage thing, I just didn't want him to know your last name. Though he might find out."
And yes, the old Maria dies once again. He was just saving me, like he always does.
The rest of the evening was, well, nice. The men were talking about their "business" and I was with the girls who though my dress was phenomenal.
 
As we leave, Alexi kisses me again.
We are outside, and I don't know why he did it.
He whispers: "Just keep walking."
I don't understand, but I follow.
We walk for a while, and then he says: "I'm sorry for the kiss... again. I just knew they were watching, and we had to kiss again. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything. You are so nice and fragile. You shouldn't be a part of this world. And you don't have a reason, we are not together anymore..."
"Get over it, Alexi. Just start walking again, seriously."
 
(a stupid story.)

/selena gomez - magical/
 
wednesday, january 18th, 2012-another club is opening up in brooklyn. it's a hip, new age one, with music ranging from all genres. The theme for the opening night is the roaring twenties. Dress up as flappers or any other character from that era.
 
"You look great in that dress. Very 20s, yet very modern." I turn around. The club is full but I see him very clearly. He looks exactly like Alexi, except for the fact that he isn't Alexi. It's Anton.
"Oh, thank you Anton."
"So, you just recognized me like that, in a second?"
He seems amused.
"Yes, in fact, I did."
"How? We look exactly the same?"
"Well, Alexi is just a little bit shorter, and he doesn't know that much about fashion. Remember when we first met, you complimented me for wearing a Chanel belt. I think Alexi doesn't even know Chanel makes belts."
He laughs.
"You have a point there."
"Plus, I've been with Alexi for quite some time. I know him."
"Oh, I see."
I smile.
"So, you don't really like parties, but you still go to them?"
"Oh, why do you think that?" I say it nervously as I'm going through my clutch trying to find my cellphone.
"Oh, I don't know, because you're almost always alone, going outside, not really having fun, not really dancing, not drinking... you really are a good girl, so how did you end up with my brother?" He's still amused.
"Woah, well... he's really a good guy."
As we speak, a new song begins. "Good girls go bad."
 
/I make them good girls go bad/ I make them good girls go... good girls go bad/
 
Anton starts laughing.
"This is my song. Wanna dance?"
"Seriously? This is your song? Oh my God." I can't stop laughing. I can't imagine a guy like Anton loving a song like this.
"You girl are such a prude." he talks louder because of the music. "
"Okay, okay, I give up, let's dance."
 
/She was so shy, 'till I drove her wild/
 
We both scream, and twirl and dance and finally we both scream: "I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD".
After the song finished, we both feel quite exhausted.
"Woah, that was good", I proclaim.
"Yeah, it was." Anton smiles. "What drink do you want?"
"Thank you for your offer, but I really don't drink."
He looks at me like I'm an alien.
"So you were never drunk?"
"No."
"You are 23, girl, you should live once in a while."
He brings some drinks, and I try them. After a while, it becomes fun. I drink more and more. I am dizzy but it's fun. Anton asks DJ to play "Good girls go bad", and now both of us scream while people look at us like we are crazy.
 
"This was fuuuuuun." I scream as I try to walk. Thank good these are just 2 inch heels. I still can't control myself and I fall down.
"You had a little too much to drink, didn't you?" Anton still seems amused. Maybe he's always amused.
"Nooooooooo. I want morrreeee."
I wrap my arms around him.
"Let's danceeeeee."
"No, Maria."
 
Am I seeing double? No, apparently I'm not. There's Alexi.
"Oh, Alexi, come here, let's have fun." I take his hand.
"No we will not be having any fun."
"Why so serious?" I ask him.
He turns to Anton.
"You are not normal. Why did you do this?"
"Do what? We were just having fun. I didn't think she would be this drunk. I'm really sorry, bro."
"Alexi, stop. I'm a big girl. I drank and I like it. Now let's go daaaaaaaaaancee."
 
Alexi takes my hand and starts dragging me. Once we are out, I am seeing more clearly.
"I'm taking you home." He is very angry.
"Please don't. I'm having fun."
"You are not having fun, you're drunk."
He calls a cab.
"You know, you should drink at all. Especially at mafia parties, are you even normal?" I've never seen him this angry.
I look at the sky.
"Alexi, looook. The sky is so naaaaaavy. Oh, there's a shooooooting staaaaaaaaar. Make a wish, Alexi. But a gooooooooood one."
"Maria, stop, here's the cab."
He helps me get in.
While we are in the car, I look around. I open the window and scream.
" I LOVE NEW YORK."
Alexi helps me shut up as the driver talks to himself about the youth being crazy.

After we get out of the cab, I can't walk. So, Alexi lifts me up and I protest.
"You are not my Knight in the Shining Armani, stop it... I wanna have fun."
"Oh, I'm sure you do want to have fun."
He helps me enter the apartment. He puts me in the shower even though I protest. He makes sure everything is right. He puts me in my bed.
"I hope you are alright."
I look at him with my silly smile.
"Are you alright?"
"Mmmh."
"I'm going to lock the door with my key. Your key is still in your clutch. By the way, I should come over in a couple of days. I don't need this key anymore." He looks at me with disappointment.
As he opens the door, I see things more clearly. It's almost like saying goodbye.
"Alexi, don't leave just yet. I want to say something."
He comes to me.
"Yes, Maria, do you need anything?"
"I love you." I look at him and he is still angry though he kinda smiles.
I can see him thinking about it.
"You're drunk. I have to leave."
As he leaves, I know I'm sober now.
 
It doesn't matter. I'm glad he thought I was drunk. Tonight was a weird night. But I'm glad I did all of this, sometimes it just gets boring, you know, being the good girl. I sing to myself "I make them good girls go bad" as I fall asleep. What a night.
 
(This story is lame. I'm sorry. Write "Good girl go bad" if you did read it. After all, I was never drunk, so this was hard to write, and the outfit was also hard to make.)

name: Maria Tovar
age: 23
model: Ashley Sky
occupation: Student-Teacher
likes: helping young children, her family, mathematics, her boyfriend Alexi, long braided hair, first day of spring, white converse, and chocolate covered anything, her gerbil Sima
bio: Maria was raised on the west coast, with her two actor turned socialite parents. With the pressure of being in the spotlight, Maria was trained in ballet, and all other forms of etiquette. A graceful and polite girl Maria moved to New York to attend NYU and avoid her over-the-top parents. After graduation, Maria got a job working as a student teacher in the Brooklyn area where she met Alexi. They’ve been dating for about six months, and are falling in love. Or so she thinks. Though the relationship is still young, Maria is secretly hoping for the engagement ring sometime soon.
involution in mafia: little does Maria know, Alexi is engaged with one of the most dangerous mafias in the world. Or that he’s a popular choice for underboss. It’s a secret worth keeping though, for her safety and for his own safety.

/rihanna ft eminem - love the way you lie part 2/
 
20 OBSCURE MODELS CHALLENGE

8.Rasa Zukauskaite
 
So, something a little bit different, edgier than usual. I love these leopard booties. Somebody give them to me, haha.

/katy perry - the one that got away/
 
tuesday, january 17th, 2012-it's time for the bride to go dress shopping. The bridesmaids will only be attending this as well as the bride’s mother. The men will be going to get their tuxes, if they don’t already own them.
 
I'm going shopping with my mom today. Haven't seen her in ages. She's finally in the city. I already have a fancy outfit planned. Coral definitely looks good on my tanned skin.
 
She's waiting for me outside my apartment building. As I approach, she hugs me.
"You are so skinny, do you even eat?" She starts asking questins immediately.
"Yes, mom, I do eat. I've just had a lot of problems lately."
"Problems, like, drugs, alcohol, crazy stalkers, fights, rapists?"
I love my mom. I really do. But sometimes she is really annoying.
"No mom. Just normal stuff." I roll my eyes.
Although I know that I'm lying. Seriously, having an ex- boyfriend in mafia, realizing your new friend is his sister, and that he also has a twin brother... well that's not easy.
"Come here, give me another hug."
"Mom, this is really awkward." We are in the middle of a street.
"I know, silly." She hugs me again.
 
Then we finally start walking. My mom really doesn't like designer stores though.
"Maria, honey, when you die, your children will only inherit your shoes."
"I like to have quality and designer things mom. I earn my money. I buy them with my money."
"And what if your grandchildren don't wear the same size as you...?"
"Mom, stop it."
 
We finally arrive at the Prada store. Oh, I love Prada.
"Honey, those shoes are ridiculous. They look like something from a cartoon. Put them down."
I don't want to fight. I know my mother and fighting with her is not something I want. I can always come back for the shoes later.
"Okay, what about this blouse?" I ask politely.
"Honey, seriously. It looks like someone died in it. And for this price tag, it must have been the Queen herself."
"Mom, the Queen is still alive."
"Well, you get my point."
 
We leave the store empty-handed.
"Mom, maybe we should check out Forever 21?"
"Yes, honey, please."
"Great. We'll have to walk a lot to get to their store, so prepare yourself."
"Honey, you're the one wearing heels."
"Oh mum..."
 
At F21 store, my mom is finally happy. She found some stuff she needed, and I found some cute stuff too. I will still be coming back for those Pradas, though.
As we leave the store, my mom is finally happy. But that doesn't last long, of course.
"Now, Maria, honey, tell me where is that handsome boyfriend of yours?" She always loved Alexi. That's weird. She loves him more than she loves me.
I catch my breath.
"We broke up."
"Of course you did. He was too good for you. Handsome, well-educated, smart, and tall. I knew he would dumb you."
"He didn't dump me. I broke up with him."
"YOU ARE NOT NORMAL. You have to ask him for forgiveness. You are not so young anymore, Maria. You're 23, you should have married someone by now."
"Mom, please, stop it. I had a reason to break up with him, and we're not getting back together."
"So, when was the last time you saw him?"
"Why is that so important?"
"I'm just asking, Maria."
"Yesterday. We were in Moscow for 3 days..."
My mom opens her mouth and I know she'll start saying how perfect he is.
"AS FRIENDS, mom. Only as friends. He's a good friend. Nothing more than that."
"Okay, Maria, but I'm really worried."
 
We start walking and talking about random stuff again. And then, I see Alexi, with a tux in his hand.
He stops and then smiles. My mom screams and hugs him.
"Oh, you charming young man, where are you going with that tux?" He smiles.
"Well, I am getting ready for a wedding."
"How are you, Maria?" He shakes my hand.
I remember Moscow, the wedding, kisses, the cab driver, the drunk man, the fight, the long walks, the matryoshka doll... that was one day ago. And it feels like that stuff happened an eternity ago.
Now it feels like we are strangers.
"I'm fine, just listening to my mom talking bad stuff about my favorite store."
He laughs.
"Oh, ma'am, please don't talk about Prada like that."
My mom hugs him again.
"You are such a sweet guy, Alexi. She didn't deserve you."
"Oh, yes, she did deserve me. In fact, she was too good for me, ma'am."
"Aaah, Alexi, you are too young. You'll find a nice girl one day. And my daughter will get old and she will be all alone. She will only have her cats."
"MOM, ENOUGH. Alexi, we are leaving. It was very nice to see you."
I know he feels sorry. But I'm already so tired.
"Mom, why don't you stop. I will not marry Alexi. I will find a nice guy and marry him. And we will be happy."
"And where will you find him? At Prada while buying ridiculous shoes?"
"Mom, enough about Prada."
"You should go out more. Go clubbing."
"But I will find Prince Charming drunk at a club? Classy, mom, classy."

/robbie williams - she's madonna/
 
Monday, January 16th, 2012-It's time to fly back to the States. We leave, again, around mid-morning. So say your goodbyes before we go because who knows when we will be back in Russia again.
 
Last morning in Moscow. I feel... relieved. I want to shop at Barney's again, I want to meet my friends, I want to teach... It feels like I've been here for a year. Not 3 days. Weird. Alexi texted me that he would say goodbye to his relatives and that I don't have to go with him. I'm so glad he decided to go on his own. I'm just so tired and messed up right now.
 
I hear a knock on my door.
"Who is it?" I say.
"Alexi, of course." I open.
"You're early."
"I know. I got us some food."
"Ah. Great. I'm so hungry."
"But why are you still unpacked?"
"I had a lot to pack..."
"Of course. Because a normal girl needs 4 designer bags, 3 pairs of jeans, 6 pairs of shoes, 5 dresses and 2 pairs of shorts... oh and 8 shirts for a 3-day trip. Seems logical." He starts throwing stuff out of the closet.
"Alexi stop. I needed those stuff."
"If you really need all of this, then you need to know how to pack all of this."
"I hate you."
"I hate you too."
"Real funny Alexi. We don't have time to waste."
"Oh, that's why you packed everything."
"Stop it."
"You won't get the food until you pack your bags."
"Did I ever mention I hate you?"
"Maybe once, or twice, or three times?"
 
We both start laughing and rolling on my bed.
"Start now." He giggles.
After what seemed like eternity, my bags are really packed. And really full. I did buy a lot of stuff.
"Good girl. Now you can have the food."
"Uh, thank you."
The food was delicious.
 
We check out of the hotel. It's a bittersweet feeling. Yes, I did not have an amazing time in Moscow, but to be perfectly honest... it was like an escape. I could kiss Alexi, and hug Alexi, and do whatever I wanted to do. No mafia talk. But that's over. I made sure of that. Yesterday.
 
"I'm freezing." I say.
"I wonder why. You are wearing shorts."
"Yeah, well... the outfit seemed cute."
We both laugh. He looks at me and moves his arm. For a moment, I thought he would hug me. But he moves it back. I'm grateful for that.
Our cab has just arrived.
"Come on, let's get in." Alexi opens the door for me.
"Sure. Wait a second. " I pretend to check my bag, but I'm really looking back at the hotel. All the stuff that happened here... it already seems like a distant memory. I turn my head around and get in.
 
The driver starts talking to us. He's cute and really young. He has an amazing smile and dark blonde hair.
"So, you two are on a honeymoon?" he asks.
"No, actually, we are not dating" I say.
"She's more like a sister" Alexi adds.
"Oh, I see" The driver says.
"So, what's your name?" he turns to me.
"Maria. Nice to meet you. And your name is?"
He briefly turns around to shake my head. After all, he's driving.
"Fedor", he smiles.
"Cute name." I say.
"So, do you come here often?" He asks.
The three of us start laughing.
We start chatting and Alexi tells him about his Russian origins, and soon enough it's time to say goodbye to the driver and goodbye to Moscow. We're at the airport.
 
The driver gets out of the cab, and starts running after us. When we stop he says goodbye and shakes our hands. He puts a note in my hand.
"Don't open it", he whispers.
I nod.
"I wish I was the driver who drove you from the airport, but I guess I shouldn't think about it." He says and smiles.
"Goodbye, mate." Alexi says.
"You will not be coming here soon?" The driver asks.
"No." Alexi says. The driver finally leaves.
 
We are flying back now.
"That driver was totally into you", Alexi says.
"No he wasn't", I say.
I know it's a total lie, but it's not like I will ever meet him again.
"Yes he was. Though he's totally below your standard."
"I have a standard now?"
"Well..."
"Stop it, Alexi. He was just being nice."
"Whatever."
Maybe he was jealous. It's not like there was no reason to be jealous, but then again, we are not together. We broke up 13 days ago. Forever. We don't talk much and we finally land.
 
As soon as I enter my apartment, I feel dizzy and alone. I open my suitcase and put the matryoshka doll on the table. I put my things back to closet. They all smell like Moscow. I can't describe it. Then, there's my Donna Karan dress, the one I wore at the wedding. Finally, I remember the note from the driver, I quickly open it. There's his phone number and his facebook profile name, and a sentence that says: "remember me, remember Moscow."
 
I turn on my computer.